Good Special Effects, Bad Timing”

It was a Summer Thursday night at the Teen Club… at least I am pretty sure it was. We had been in early that night, and were heading out to get into the beers and such that we had stashed down the street in our car. 

Who was we? We were just your average  group of teen age guys, on the Goth/Punk side, riding around in the nicest, or biggest car owned by the group. It was a time right at the end of “Cruising” and the beginning of “Teen Clubbing”, the mid-80’s, it was. Crazy freaking times……. I guess if there was something that made us different was, unlike most Goth Kids, we were BIG… 4 out of 6 were over 200pounds… as 14-16 yr olds….

So weren’t quite picked on the same way as the other Goth/Punk/New Wave kids… It happened, but not often.. We may have been Punk Rock kids, but we were raised by loggers, bikers and such… We punished those who dared fuck with us.

We were respected enough that we were looked at as unofficial bouncers at the club, came and went as we pleased, etc. So we had left, telling the Door Guy we were going for beers. He must have mis-understood us, must have thought we were leaving to go somewhere to buy beer, not just going out to the car. This, was an almost fatal misunderstanding…..

Right after we headed down the street(, we generally parked a couple blocks from the club,) another friend arrived at the club. He was coming to pull a major prank, a theatrical performance if you will. Some Guerilla theater, but, as he intended to make it look like someone, himself, gets stabbed, he wanted to let in on the prank, the staff, and those most apt to react to it, US. Satisfied that we had just left the club, and wouldn’t be back soon, he proceeded immediately with the prank….

he was a close friend, a friend that had really scored a life changer when he got a part in a Movie being filmed locally.  Having been a props guy before he got the part, once on set, it seems, he was intent on learning that trade. So much so that on this particular night, he had somebody from the Movie’s Props/Makeup Dept along with him for the prank.

He was playing the guy that was to get stabbed , lets call him Skippy,  in the Gut, in the parking lot of the most popular teen club in town…. Again, and attempt at Guerilla Theater…… And brilliantly played too, it was TOTALLY believable…..  Problem was…. This Guerilla Theater was about to be interupted by some Angry Gorillas, , who have their sights on someone who has seemingly hurt one of their own…one Gorilla in particular, me….

Apparently, the plan had been to send someone into the club to shout out that there was a fight, that someone had been stabbed. Again, they did this, not knowing that we would come around the corner to the club, just as the cry was being repeated by people coming out the door…….

Well, we went straight for the melee, and as we weren’t first ones there, Skippy and his assailant did their performance, culminating in Skippy revealing a blood soaked mid section to the crown just as I broke to the front of the Crowd,…..

Now, what I see is a man pulling a knife out of another man, then realize that the stabbed man is my friend. My friend, of course, is “Acting”,  writhing in agony, presumably bleeding……

I freak out, not realizing that my friend, seing me has dropped out of character, and is trying to get my attention, having realized what is about to happen.  I am already past him, figuring there are plenty in the crowd that can help him, I am going after the assailant.  In a second, meanwhile, he, the assailant sees something has gone wrong, has dropped the knife and is turning to run as I get a hold of him….

The shreak, and screams of innocence, didn’t even register in my mind at the time.. I was gonna kill this guy. In a flash I had him up off his feet, and having grabbed my boot knife, I was literally holding this guy up, by his neck, on the edge of my blade, a good 2 feet off the ground. I am screaming about how I am about to cut off his head, that he fucked with the wrong little punk rocker,  I am literally about to blow a gasket, and about to pop his head of like an old time baby coke…

My friend finally gets my attention, comes into my view, and is showing me it is fake…I kinda roar one more time, before I put the asailant down.. then start yelling at my friend, about pulling this sort of prank……… Ya know, I am not sure If I ever apologized to that guy…..

,,Sorry Dude…
Alan Madden Rose


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