I don’t believe in Pajamas..

#idontbelieveinpajamas #pajamaconspiracy

I dont believe in pajamas.. there, I said it! And no, this is not the rant of someone on a hedonistic bent. No, I am not a 20 or 30 something… I am a dad of damn near 50. No Iam against it more for the laundry aspect of it. As a stay at home dad, I have found out what women, at last a preponderance of them , have known since time immemorial. The drudges, doldrums, and frustrations of the laundry pile. Now I have been responsible for my own laundry since i was a kid, so It isnt that I wasa spoiled and never did laundry, not true, far from it. Us kids were tasked with doing our own laundry from the time we could actually figure out the dials.

No, I am talking of doing the laundry for a whole household, of mostly children. I am talking about walking around half stooped picking up laundry off the floor of their room, to finish out a load. I am talking about sniff testing laundry, that isn’t your own. Yeah…..

I am talking about finding clean clothes in the laundry, but not finding them until they are already washed. You know, that stocking cap tha goes thru the laundry every week, because it keeps ending up on the floor, not because it has been worn. That long sleeved shirt, or pair of footy pajamas, that keep getting in the laundry, in the heat of the Arizona Summer(also known as 8 months a year!), when the temp is hitting triple digits! Why? Because it falls out of the drawer, when they are digging for something else. Once it hits the floor, of the disaster area that is there room, it will be ground into the food, dirt, and general disgustingness that is the floor of a room shared by children under 7.

Are ya getting the visual? Ya just get to know, ya start saying, as you are putting stuff in the washer, “Hey! did this even get worn?’ over and over.. and over.

So to the point, pajamas…. WTF is the deal? Is this a plot by the detergent companies, to double the amount of laundry we do? Seriously, my kids aren’t doing some award show, they don’t NEED three, four, wardrobe changes a day!

It is bad enough the amount of clothing they get dirty in a day, just being kids. Making mud pies, getting into stuff they aren’t supposed to, etc. So I ask, do we really need a fresh pair of PJ’s every freakin’ night? All you are doing is sleeping in them fer chris’ sake. Unless you are a bedwetter, you aren’t getting them dirty, so why? Are you sweating that much wearing PJ’s? THEN TAKE THEM OFF, don’t add to my laundry! Fuck! I mean really..

We live in the freaking desert, where 10 months out of the year, it is hot enough to want to go shirtless most of the day, and Naked where ya can… so why the Hell do we need footy pajamas, ever? Seriously, sport shorts or sweats, if you NEED them, not required wearing. Even in Oregon, at least in my family, pajamas were ridiculous, more blankets is the answer, not silly printed pj’s.

Am I wrong? Is there some societal necessity I am missing here? The need to change clothes three times a day, like some ponce on Downton Abbey? Cuz I already feel like the butler and cook around here, I haven’t the time to be washer woman too… so step away from the pajamas… slowly…

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