Farmer came back from his errands one thursday afternoon, with a big surprise for the barnyard.
A new rooster.
The old rooster, long a great fellow, and capitol crower, had gone on to that great barnyard in the sky a few days prior. So today, the farmer picked up a new young stud, a real fire cracker of a rooster, to take over stewardship, as it were, of the henhouse.
Now this guy was ready to go baby, spinning laps around the cage, couldnt wait to get into that henhouse, gonna get his Cluck On, if ya Naw Ah Mean… Yeah, youngster was gonna fuck that henhouse stupid!
The farmer, lets him go in the barnyard, and the rooster makes a bee line for a group of plucky cluckers, and starts getting his barnyard on right there, right away. The farmer, he chuckles, and heads on in for supper.
Now the rooster just keeps going at it, hen after hen, chasing them down and poundin’ it out, all through supper. Things didn’t quiet down out the barnyard til after bedtime. Still, the farmer chuckled as he went to sleep, knowing there will definitely be a a serious batch of new chicks this year, with this new rooster…..
Next morning, the randy rooster starts right back up, with the first rays of sunshine…
By the end of day two, the hens are avoiding, hell, hiding from him. You could see hens hiding in bushes, or under vehicles… still he caught them, and caught them…
By day three, the hens are done, not even leaving the henhouse, a strike of exhaustion….. and the farmer is shocked, to hear squawking of geese and ducks, and finding that horny freakin’ rooster mounting up on ANY fowl he can find! And it doesnt stop there, crazy bird was out trying to mount up on the cattle and horses, seriously, this rooster is batshit crazy, thinks the farmer…. He hollers at the rooster, as he passes by him on the tractor, while the crazy fucker was trying to mount a sleeping dog, ” yer gonna fuck yerself to death if you dont slow down son!”
Rooster pauses, hering the man talk to him. He stops his rut, looks back at him, gives what seems to be that vacant chicken blink a few times, then goes back to trying to hump the sleeping dog. farmer laughs, then goes inside for lunch.
Lunch finished, the farmer goes outside, and notices it has gotten quiet. “Ran out of gas” chuckled the farmer” crazy rooster”, and went about his chores. About an hour later though, he notices something ominous. Something up in the sky, circling. The buzzard.
That shadow, that silhouette, is unmistakeable. Shielding his eyes, the farmer realizes that the buzzard is circling something in his fields. Off to investigate, goes the farmer. Couple minutes later, the farmer approaches a crumpled lump in the field, and he can tell on approach, it is the new rooster. Thing is just layin there, flat on it’s back, little tongue hangin out…
“Aw dammit, ” the farmer yells, “I told ya you’d fuck yerself to death, stupid fuckin’ rooster! Shit, shit, shit! Now I gotta go get another one, dammitall..”
He bends down, intent on picking up the rooster, to dispose of it properly. However as he leans in close, he hears, “SHHHH!” The farmer looks down, and to his amazement, it is the rooster shushin’ him!
Rooster says, “SHHH!” again, then points at the sky, ” That Buzzard has no idea, no freakin idea, the fuckin’ I’m gonna give her when she gets down here!!!”