From Prince, To Porter, At Twinning Speed

Family Summer vacations, always seemed to have a procession of elders, aged cousins and aunts of every description, that needed to be visited on every trip to California, lest, god forbid, they might pass, and we would have missed them. You know the drill, I am sure..

Normally, this wouldn’t have been a problem . Previous years, it had been an excercising in basking Ii the glow, the star grandchild, apple of everyone’ss eye, Alan the Amazing grandkid show. It sometimes got a little stale, like some of the candy you were offered on arrival, but all in all, it was pretty good. As a youngster, there isn’t much better than a big hug and a candy bowl, fer real!

But Not this year. no, seems the tent had gone down on the Super Alley-Oop Show this year, in favor of ‘them’. They. Them, plural.. This year they were along. New members in the family, on family vacation. A new game, a new show, new arrivals… My sister’s. Yeah, sister’s, as in twins.

Though I didnt understand it for what it was at the time, the polish was off the apple. I was second fiddle. All anybody wanted to see was the twins. Ooh the twins, look at those precious little girls…. yeah.

I really knew something was wrong, that things were changing, and not in a good way, when at one stop, while waiting to have some elder relative swoop me up and smother we kisses upon my exiting the car, as had been customary on all previous trips. Not this time. No, there I was left hangin, standing there alone at the car, as the crowd of elders and cousins huddled and clucked over the twin little girls, as they conveyed them, with an almost regal rugby scrum, into the house.

I stood there slack jawed, not believing what I had just seen. When I was called out to as they were entering the house with the precious little packages, “Alan”

(finally, they remembered me, I thought),

only to hear, “Alan, could you grab the diaper and snack bags, bring them in with you?”

What? Alan, bring in the bags?


Not just no hero’s welcome, now I am the Porter? woah! Is this really happening, i must have thought…

Oh, the indignity of it all, I would have thought, had I had the vocabulary at seven…..

yeah, family dynamic changed there,pretty abruptly. I went from an only child most of the year, as my older half brother only stayed with us every other summer, to a glorified built in babysitter, seemingly overnight.

From being babied,

to changing babies diapers.

Being fed,

to feeding babies.

From protected,

to protector.



welcome to seven

Check your childhood

over here

You can have it back

when alzheimers sets in

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