Wife is changing our daughter and just as she’s getting ready to wrap up the diaper little sister lets one fly, blows gas right in mom’s general direction.
She asked, gasping, both from laughter and the smell,”can you smell that?”
I reply in the negative, ” no, i can’t ” slowly backing away, starting to leave the room.
“wait wait! hang out aminute” she says laughingly, ” where ya going? stick around, you don’t need to leave yet.”
“No, really”‘ I reply over her mock protestations, “I need to check on the boys, need to make sure they’re OK, out here, not, not, uh, in there, ya know?”
“Oh come on, this is your DNA here, this is your genetics right here. What’s wrong? No? Not even a whiff?”
I am shaking my head, with that casual”no, no, I am good”, while backing further out the door.
Then she says, “Come on, it’ll make you smarter!”, Referencing that study claiming that smelling farts in the night actually raises your IQ….. right? Makes sense, Or not.
Now, though the study is dubious, I r the I.know, that hadn’t stopped me from quoting it, ad nauseam(see what I did there?), when I let go with those warm kisses of air in the night. Giving her the”your welcome for the I.Q. points” when she complains about Captain Gas-Alot here.
So, I can see her point, a ‘well played’ point.
But I, I had a reply…
“No, no that wouldn’t be any good. I don’t need to be any smarter. Hell, I would be dangerous were my I.Q. any higher. I mean really, doesn’t the world have enough evil geniuses already?”
…. did I mention I picked up speed getting down the hallway, before I got to the punchline.
What, why you ask?
We are married. She had a fresh diaper, and that wasn’t the most dangerous thing within her reach.