”About To Let Go, To Fall, To Be Caught, Or Not.”…. So Universe, The Ball Is In Your Court….

Broken down

Ground down

Under constant pressure

Compressing

Aged out

Will I ever again

Be gainfully

Employed?

Creaking and grimacing

With those first

Couple steps

Upon rising

Just fine after that

But too late

First impressions

Are a bitch

Aged out

Too much

Experience?

Yes

And I get it

But still

Being looked at

By millennials

Like I am about to die

A relic

Or a threat

To their authority

And then

Oh, and then

Having been

A stay at home dad

For three years

Baby Boomers

look at me

As suspect

Useless

Fucking hippy

Slacker on the dole

Even women

Who should understand

How hard

Raising children

And keeping them

From burning

down the house

Is.

Even women

Think of of

Stay at home parenting

As lazy,

At least when

Men do it.

I am coming close

Coming close

Oh Universe

Coming close

To just admitting

Surrendering

to the fact

That I cannot

Save myself

Save my family

I am failing

And will continue to

Fail

My methods

No longer are relevant

To the talents

i still possess

That it is time

To surrender

To admit I cannot save

Myself

And to implore

The universe

To decide

If I am worth saving,

If I am worth redeeming

Worth saving

And if so

To send the cavalry

The samaritan

The hand up

Not a hand out

To send them now

As I am about

To let go

To release all control

And fall

Fall

To be caught

Or not.

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